Most of the coinages that have come my way in recent months areverbs, but there's a scattering of nouns and adjectives, as well.
Among the dandelions is 'paintress.' It cropped up not long agoin an ad in the Canton (Ohio) Repository: 'See the unique artistry ofRoyal Doulton's paintress, Dawn Lammas, on March 5 . . .' In point offact, 'paintress' isn't new. The Oxford English Dictionary dates itfrom 1633, but surely this is a word to stomp out today. In passing,we may wonder how many of these ess-endings are still in respectableusage. Heiress, certainly; the tabloids would never give it up.Actress, for another. But let me warn you never to refer to a femalesculptor as a 'sculptress.' You may get a mallet thrown your way.
Timothy Wheeler of Shelbyville, Ind., insists that he has seenon the menu of a health food cafe 'sproutburgers.' Such a hybrid, hewrites, emerges from the process of metanalysis. This was theprocess by which a bikini, named after the atoll, begat the bastardhalf-Greek monokini. The hamburger originally was a beef steak namedafter the city; then a vague impression arose that the 'ham' had todo with ham. Nowadays, Wheeler complains, 'we put anything we pleasein buns, add the burger suffix, and behold: sproutburgers.'
Jonathan Nicholas of the Portland Oregonian reports that an icecream merchant in Depoe Bay has taken to calling unruly visitors'touroids.' I take this to be an outgrowth of Norman Mailer's'factoid,' a noun that hasn't made it yet to Webster's but is toogood to ignore.
From the Mobile (Ala.) Press Register comes 'obeyance.' Itappears that at Halloween a hobgoblin by the name of Arthur appears,and 'many imps will roam tonight in obeyance of his decrees.' FromNewsweek, a new superlative: The Vietnam war was 'the baddest Americaever fought.'
A story in USA Today about actress Ann Wedgeworth informs usthat in 'No Small Affair' she played 'the hero's ditzy mother.' Aheadline in People Magazine says that as ' `Moonlighting's' ditzyreceptionist,' Allyce Beasley has answered the call of fame. Ditzy?It evidently means 'spacey, bug-eyed.' It's a new one on me.
Mostly, you readers have sent me verbs. Vicki Wagner ofLouisville, Ohio, found that a deceased gentleman had been 'intumed'at Northlawn Cemetery. The Associated Press provided a piece aboutspace vehicles: 'Safing measures included reducing fuel tank pressure. . . .' In the News-Star-World of Monroe, La., a legal noticeadvised residents of a public hearing: 'The purpose of the hearing isto abreast residents of the city's intent . . . .'
In recent months the world of sports has given us 'to plate,' asin 'a run-scoring single plated Jack Perconte from second base.' Aheadline in the Oregonian had exciting news: 'Pendleton OutquicksNorth Bend for 26-9 Victory.' In Lewiston, Me., the University ofSouthern Maine 'skun out an 8-7 golfing victory . . . .' The New YorkState Department of Motor Vehicles provided instructions for handlinga license renewal card: 'Keep it clean and uncrumbled.'
A number of verbs that readers believe to be new verbs aren'tnew at all. 'To skeletonize' has been around since 1644, 'todownsize' since 1975, and 'to funeralize' for at least 20 years -even if Webster's never met the word. I kind of wish I never had metit myself.
